This is the Hubble Ultra Deep Field photo.  If you'll remember the size of the moon in the sky, this photo is of an apparently black, empty bit of space with an area in the sky 1/100th that of the moon.  Included in this this photo of this very tiny bit of sky are 10,000 whole galaxies of up to more than 13 billion years in age.

Our observable universe includes more than 80 BILLION galaxies, each containing millions of stars and many millions of planets.  Our own galaxy all by itself includes millions of stars and many millions of planets, many which can sustain organic life; and our own solar system has many planets and moons with water, carbon, and other organic compounds and elements.

I've been aware that the universe is quite large since my teenage years.  But looking at this photo of a dot-sized area of our sky containing 10,000 galaxies, any meaning of huge I had before has been permanently dwarfed.

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I've been pretty introspective lately.  At first, I was wondering what role I should play in the world.  I couldn't find an answer because I felt like everything I could do was too weak, too small.

Then my interest in the stars and galaxies was rekindled, and I eventually came to a realization of how big of possibilities our universe offered--orders of magnitude larger than anything I previously imagined.  On whatever scale you can imagine (interstellar, galactic, intergalactic, universal) within or beyond our own solar system, there is life, potential for life, and worlds of knowledge, wisdom, and spiritualities we can't even imagine, and which are currently beyond us, at the very least in a physical sense.  And here we are, humanity at its "best," behaving in general as an exceptionally cruel, socially backward, and ignorant species, with a few exceptional individuals.  When it comes to the big picture, we aren't in the game--we aren't even in the game's stadium.

One would imagine that someone who felt ineffective and small before would feel nihilistic after a realization like this.  The exact opposite is the case with me.  Suddenly, I realize that my fellow humans, along with the rest of the life around me, can be so much better than it is; and more importantly, it SHOULD be.

More importantly, I'm aiming higher.  My goals are bigger.  I want the world to become a wiser, kinder, more loving place.  I want humanity to reach more and more of its immense potential.  And I want to do my part, however small, to the best of my ability, to help either of those goals.

I'm no longer content to drift along, doing something useful occasionally.  I want to spend as much time as possible doing something friendly, or kind, or helpful, or knowledge-seeking; and I'm hoping that my idea that kindness spreads has any truth to it.  I want to be a catalyst--I want to set a good example for others, and hope that they catch on.

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Sorry for the long absence, by the way.  I haven't been replying to entries or comments mostly because I've been away from LJ.  I just needed some introverted thinking time.  Plus, nothing worth writing about happens in this area of Illinois, anyways!